Nothing in the World
by Beef Stew of Love
Summary: Very angsty Kurrty/Lancitty stuff. Not fluff. Very very sad. :( Oh yea, two parts are songfics.
1. Nothing

Title: Nothing In The World (Part One)  
  
Author: Daughter Of Night  
  
Summary: Extremely Angsty Kurt pining for Kitty  
  
Warnings: EXTREMELY Angsty. 'Nuff said, or I'll ruin it. . .  
  
~  
  
Sometimes I can't stand it. Sometimes it chokes me, makes it hard to breathe. Sometimes I wish it would finish the job. Sure, I joke about it, but it's just a facade. A cover-up. The truth is, I'm in love with her.  
  
Sometimes I want to touch her so bad it makes me crazy!  
  
But I can't. So I watch her. Like now. She doesn't know I'm watching. She's laying on her bed, listening to her radio. She's on her stomach, reading something - a magazine probably - and her feet are swinging through the air. God, I love her.  
  
Desperate for changing.  
  
Starving for Truth.  
  
I'm closer to where I started.  
  
Oh, chasing after you.  
  
I hear those words coming from her radio and I'm strangely interested. It doesn't sound like anything I'd normally listen to, but it sways me. Those words make sense to me; it's how I feel, desperate, helpless.  
  
I'm falling even more in love with you.  
  
Letting go of all I've held onto.  
  
I'm standing here until you make me move.  
  
Just hangin' by a moment here with you.  
  
Jesus. How could there be a song that described how I felt? Exactly how I felt. I can't help it! I love her. Falling would be the right word for it. It's like you're surrounded by darkness, being sucked into a bottomless hole. The black presses in on you, suffocating you. But it doesn't end. You just keep going.  
  
Forgetting all I'm lacking.  
  
Completely incomplete.  
  
I'll take your invitation.  
  
You take all of me.  
  
She could. She could have all of me. Anything she wanted, I'd give it to her. But she doesn't want me. Never me, because she could never forget what I lack: normality. Sure, we're all mutants, but I can't even pull off human. Not without that watch. I looked down at it and turned it off.  
  
I'm falling even more in love with you.  
  
Letting go of all I've held onto.  
  
I'm standing here until you make me move.  
  
Just hangin' by a moment here with you.  
  
I'm living for the only think I know.  
  
I'm running and I question where to go.  
  
And I don't know what I'm tapping into.  
  
Just hangin' by a moment here with you.  
  
And again I am falling. She's there. She can pull me up. But she doesn't see me. Not like I see her, anyway. I'm waiting for her to open her eyes. I'm hanging on, just for her. But she doesn't know it. She doesn't see me, and she doesn't want to.  
  
There's nothing else to lose.  
  
There's nothing else to find.  
  
There's nothing in the world.  
  
That can change my mind.  
  
There was nothing else.  
  
There was nothing else.  
  
There was nothing else.  
  
I'm beyond caring about my dignity, my pride. I've already asked her out three times. She'd said no. Three times. I know I'll continue to ask her. If it sounds desperate, it is. I am. I don't know what else to do. But I won't change my mind. I love her, and that's all.  
  
Desperate for changing.  
  
Starving for Truth.  
  
I'm closer to where I started.  
  
Oh, chasing after you.  
  
She's getting up now. I know I should go before she sees me, but I can't. I can't move, can't breathe. And I want to hear the end of the song.  
  
I'm falling even more in love with you.  
  
Letting go of all I've held onto.  
  
I'm standing here until you make me move.  
  
Just hangin' by a moment here with you.  
  
Jesus. How could there be a song that described how I felt? Exactly how I felt. I can't help it! I love her. Falling would be the right word for it. It's like you're surrounded by darkness, being sucked into a bottomless hole. The black presses in on you, suffocating you. But it doesn't end. You just keep going.  
  
Forgetting all I'm lacking.  
  
Completely incomplete.  
  
I'll take your invitation.  
  
You take all of me.  
  
She could. She could have all of me. Anything she wanted, I'd give it to her. But she doesn't want me. Never me, because she could never forget what I lack: normality. Sure, we're all mutants, but I can't even pull off human. Not without that watch. I looked down at it and turned it off.  
  
I'm falling even more in love with you.  
  
Letting go of all I've held onto.  
  
I'm standing here until you make me move.  
  
Just hangin' by a moment here with you.  
  
I'm living for the only think I know.  
  
I'm running and I question where to go.  
  
And I don't know what I'm tapping into.  
  
Just hangin' by a moment here with you.  
  
She sees me. I guess she wasn't expecting it, because she jumped.  
  
Just hangin' by a moment.  
  
She looks into my eyes. Her eyes are so sad, searching mine.  
  
Hangin' by a moment.  
  
Her look must mirror mine. We both pity me. She must pity me. Poor Kurt. I love her so much.  
  
Hangin' by a moment.  
  
She opens her mouth. She's going to say something, but doesn't. She lowers her head and walks past me.  
  
Hangin' by a moment here with you. 


	2. Nights

Title: Nothing In The World (Part One)  
  
Author: Daughter Of Night  
  
Summary: Extremely Angsty Kitty pining for Kurt, plus a small hint of someone else's angst. . .  
  
Warnings: EXTREMELY Angsty. 'Nuff said, or I'll ruin it. . .  
  
~  
  
I hate this. He loves me, I know. He's never actually said it, but I can tell. I hate having to not be with him.  
  
Because I love him too.  
  
Sure, some people may think that I'm just some stupid, valley-girl freshman, but I've got real feelings too.  
  
And some people may think that I won't be with him because of how he looks, but it's really not like that.  
  
It's complicated.  
  
Well, not really. It's Lance. He said he couldn't make me not break up with him, but if he ever saw me with another guy, he'd kill him.  
  
And I know what Lance can do. Sure, Kurt's a teleporter and all, but still, I'd rather not take that chance. I love Kurt.  
  
So I hate this.  
  
I almost blurted it out back there. He just looked so helpless, and sad. My heart breaks every time I see him. Yeah, I know it sounds cliché, but that's how I feel.  
  
Nights in white satin.  
  
Never reaching the end.  
  
Letters I've written.  
  
Never meaning to send.  
  
I stopped. Where was that music coming from? And how did it know that I wrote letters to Kurt? Almost every night. I began to follow the sound.  
  
Beauty I'd always missed.  
  
With these eyes before.  
  
Just what the truth is.  
  
I can't say anymore.  
  
I began to cry, silently. He probably thought, like everyone else, that I didn't like him because of how he looked. Really though, he's beautiful. Even how he looks. This might surprise people, but I don't even care about that any more. Even though, he does look pretty good.  
  
I'm so confused. A minute ago, I was crying. Now I'm not. Sometimes I wonder if I won't tell him because I don't want him dead, or because I don't really love him, or because I want him to say it first.  
  
Cuz I love you.  
  
Yes I love you.  
  
Oh, how I love you.  
  
I started crying again. Here we go.  
  
Gazing at people.  
  
Some hand-in-hand.  
  
Just what I'm going through.  
  
They can't understand.  
  
Sure, people know what love is, but I don't really think they understand this. Most people will never be in this situation, being in love with someone and not being able to be with them.  
  
Some try to tell me.  
  
Thoughts they cannot defend.  
  
Just what you want to be.  
  
You will be in the end.  
  
What exactly, do I want? Do I even know? What will I end up as, in the end? Do I even want to know?  
  
Cuz I love you.  
  
Yes I love you.  
  
Oh, how I love you.  
  
I've found the source of the music. The door is closed. Logan's door. I put my hand on it and hang my head. He would know what it's like, having no chance. Damn, I hate this.  
  
Cuz I love you.  
  
Yes I love you.  
  
Oh, how I love you. 


	3. End

Title: Nothing In The World (Part One)  
  
Author: Daughter Of Night  
  
Summary: Lance thinks about Kitty and Kurt, and what he's done  
  
Warnings: EXTREMELY Angsty. 'Nuff said, or I'll ruin it. . .  
  
~  
  
She doesn't know this, but I love her. I know why she left me. It's that Wagner kid. She digs him, for some reason. But she won't go with him, even though he's asked her.  
  
It's because of me. I said I'd kill any guy she got with, unless it were me. I feel bad, cuz I know how she feels, a bit. She loves him, but can't be with him. I love her, but can't be with her. The difference is, he loves her back.  
  
That's where I don't know how it feels. I almost had a taste, once. She kissed me. It must be almost what love feels like. Almost, but not quite.  
  
I watch them, across the hall. They talk. They smile. Her hand touches his shoulder, and I know what it's doing to him. I sigh. I know what I've got to do. I start over there. She sees me, and a scared look crosses her face. It kills me. What did I do?  
  
But now, she's not looking at me. People are screaming. They're diving away from this one kid. They duck to the sides of the hall, blocking their faces, covering their heads with their hands. Some cling to each other.  
  
Only four of us are still standing: me, Kitty, Wagner and the other kid. I don't know his name, but I've seen him around, always hurrying to his next class. He's got glasses, braces and pimples. And a gun. He's pointing it straight at Kurt. Kitty's looking terrified. Everyone is. I am.  
  
"No," she whispers.  
  
The kid is crying.  
  
I don't know what to do.  
  
I wasn't trained for this.  
  
I haven't been trained against guns.  
  
I don't know what to do.  
  
I'm frozen.  
  
I hear the loud explosion.  
  
The loudest I've ever heard, and my eyes close themselves.  
  
Everyone screams. But not Kitty. Instead, I hear Kurt's yell.  
  
I open my eyes. She's laying there, in his arms. There's blood on the front of her shirt. She must have stepped in front of him.  
  
"Kurt," I hear her say.  
  
"Kitty, no. Don't - I love you. Please don't. I love - don't go! Kitty! Kitty!"  
  
But she doesn't answer him.  
  
The kid is standing there, shaking. He's staring at Kitty, at the blood on her shirt. He's crying. I'm crying. Kitty. . .  
  
Kurt takes her hand in his, and kisses it. He slips off the watch he always wears, and puts it in her hand, which he puts to her chest.  
  
People are really screaming now. Kurt stands up, his visage showing clear for all to see. And they do see. And they scream. The kid drops the gun as Kurt advances on him.  
  
I just look at Kitty. I got almost a taste, once. Kurt got nothing, yet he's the one who's over there beating the crap out of that kid, while I sink to my knees, helplessly. "Kitty. . ."  
  
End  
  
A/N: Oh, that song in the second chapter is a really old (and slow) one called 'Nights in White Satin'. I'm sure you've heard of 'Hanging by a Moment' 


End file.
